This week was one filled with loss and commemoration of two members of our community who while very different touched the lives of so many. They did not know each other and they lived over 100 miles apart, yet each exemplified the spirit, determination, and independence of our movement.
Richard Bouman
On Saturday September 22, 2012, I attended a memorial service for Richard who perished in a fire in a group home in Mount Kisco on August 29th 2012. I never had the pleasure to meet Richard a 50 year old man with a developmental disability personally, however for many years I attended the 4th Unitarian Universalist Fellowship with his parents Geert and Dorothy Bouman. They were proud of their son Richard, and well they should be: he was a two time Special Olympics Medalist; but more importantly, by all accounts, a warm, caring, supportive and hardworking friend and co-worker. Geert and Dorothy are remarkable people as well. After advocating for her son for many years, Dorothy returned to school, received her Masters in Social Work, and dedicated herself professionally to educating parents of other children with disabilities about how to advocate for their children.
The memorial service filled the local American Legion Hall to overflowing, as hundreds of friends, colleagues, team members and professionals honored Richards’ memory. His parents were presented with a gold Olympics medal for Floor Hockey, earned in 2005 in Nagano Japan to replace the one destroyed in the fire. Richard was also part of the 2007 Softball Team which earned a bronze medal in Shanghai China.
The most moving part of the Service, which brought me and many others to tears, were the remembrances by Richard’s peers. While often difficult to understand, and not eloquent by traditional standards, these heartfelt memories revealed much about not only Richard, but also about his community of friends,co-workers and teammates. Speaking from their hearts, the folks taught me more about community, interdependence, and caring than any teacher or professor I ever had. I salute them and believe they could teach alot about speaking from the heart to our current candidates for President.
Constance Laymon
On Friday September 21st, 2012 Constance Laymon, an unforgettable advocate and leader in the development and success of the Consumer Directed Assistance Program in the Greater Capital Region and throughout the state, suddenly passed away at the age of 46. Constance was the founder of Consumer Directed Choices a consumer directed personal assistance agency in Albany, as well as one of the founding members of the Consumer Directed Personal Assistance Association of New York (CDPAANYS). She also served on the Most Integrated Setting Coordinating Council (MISCC), the state planning body charged with developing a Olmstead Plan for New York. Sadly, she did not survive to see the plan developed- but she tried through her relentless advocacy to cajol the State Bureaucrats to take action. Constance was a no holds barred fighter who insisted that we stick to our ideals even when practicality might suggest compromise. Constance was actively involved with negotiations with the New York state Department of Health about the integration of Consumer Directed Models into Managed Long Term Care and the implementaion of Community First Choice Programs which is a new federally funded opportunity to tip systems upside down so people can truly have their funding “follow them” by creating a Person Centered Plan that is driven by a budget.
Constance became a quadriplegic in 1984 right before graduating from high school in Cooperstown NY. The following is her self-description from her web page:
“I have been a strong advocate for disability rights for almost three decades. Like many people, after my injury, I pushed forward in everything that I did relating to my own situation. From moving away from inaccessible Cooperstown New York to the somewhat more accessible Capital District, to taking the jump to get into college with no high school preparation, to getting Brandee, my first Service Dog paid for by the State Vocational Agency, to dealing with doctors, hospitals, home care agencies, etc. – I had to fight plenty of battles. As time went on I met other advocates and in 1996 I went to Washington DC to attend the World Institute on Disability’s Conference on Personal Assistance Services and the National Council on Independent Living’s Annual Conference. I became part of a group consciousness with my eyes opened in ways I never considered before. Those few days brought on an epiphany. I met so many people who had disabilities that I had never heard of – there were cute guys from Alaska – I fell in love with Washington’s Metro subway system. There was a movement to be part of because we all deserved the same basic human rights as everyone else – it shouldn’t matter that we couldn’t jog, had to pee through a tube, needed someone to help us put our shoes on …”
As we advocate and live our daily lives, please remember and honor Richard and Constance. Perhaps we should use these losses as a moment to reflect and recommitt ourselves to treating our friends and colleagues with respect and support, put our egos aside and remember why we fight for justice. These are stressfull and difficult times, lets treat each other kindly.